Stories

Osko, I Gotta Go

General Order Number One didn't apply to us; we were NATO Soldiers.  Other American Soldiers could not drink in Kosovo, but it was part of our job.  The other nations we served had no such order, so the Army gave us special dispensation, allowing us to drink with them.

We took full advantage of this rule at Film City and throughout Kosovo.  

When bands came to entertain us, there was beer.  We visited the Multi-National Brigades and drank during meetings and meals.  We made it a habit to stop and visit the Italians at lunch for the food and their little boxes of wine.  We checked on the Russians at the Airport to ensure they had food.  They always had plenty of vodka.  We toasted Mother Russia, The USA, The Presidents, the Paratrooper Brotherhood, and anything else we could think of.

Driving back to base from the Airport or from one of our partner countries was always a high adventure.  

We also drank at the parties thrown by the National Support Elements (NSE) from each nation on our base, Film City.  These happened about every two weeks, corresponding with national holidays.  The US NSE was the only building on the base that was dry.  If a country invited us, it would be impolite not to drink.

These parties made for good times and great friends, and in this case, one of my favorite stories.

I had a good relationship with the Finish Battalion (FINBAT).  I had been there many times to visit them, eat with them, fire their weapons, and attend their briefings.  

Their lads were on a guard post when I bluffed my way through a large riot on the M2.  The story passed around FINBAT and got back to KFOR HQ.  They invited me to the next Finn NSE party.

I could tell it was going to be a wild night by the two tables full of alcohol, mostly vodka.

Also invited were three female officers from the FINBAT.  Now, these girls weren't what I would call attractive, but they were girls, and girls were in very short supply in Film City.  They were a big hit with all the men there.

The senior Finish officer at Film City and head of the FIN NSE, Osko, began the night's festivities by calling me forward and presenting me with the FINBAT Knife, a big honor.

Next, we toasted everything.

At some point, well into the morning, I headed to the toilet.  I waited by the door for a while, then knocked.  I knocked again.  I cracked the door and called, "Is there anyone in here?"

One of the Finish girls was sitting on the toilet, passed out.  I backed out and called for Osko.  We stood her up, pulled up her nickers, and straightened her dress.  I, being less drunk, carried her to the couch.  The party went wild with laughter and jokes at the poor girl's expense.

I went back to the toilet.

When I came out, the place was empty.  The only two people in the NSE were Osko and the girl.  She had thrown up all over herself.  Osko dabbed at the mess with a small paper napkin.  He gave me a look that begged, "Please help me."

I said, "Osko. I gotta go."

I remember exiting the door, but not how I got to my quarters that night.  I don't know what happened after I left, but I saw the girl at the FINBAT a few days later.  She looked fine and didn't seem embarrassed when she spoke to me.  I never talked to Osko about it.  He never brought it up, nor did my desertion seem to bother him.

I do know that I have never been that drunk again.